August 15th, 2008 Sassafras
Just about every femme I know is either in Chicago this weekend for the big femme conference, at NOLOSE, or hibernating away from all of it. I had briefly entertained thoughts of going to Chicago, but in the end, a number of factors (including the in my opinion absurd cost of registration) contributed to me deciding not to go, and I have to say that now the weekend has arrived I couldn’t be happier with that decision. Maybe it’s a manifestation of my own internalized femmephobia, but the prospect of spending a weekend with several hundred femmes sounds completely terrifying. Playing a part I’m sure is that the first femme “community” I discovered was incredibly competitive, and catty, and even though I’ve since discovered my own communities of femmes (including of course the femme show folks) who are anything BUT that, I still can’t imagine a conference like that not disintegrating into a competitive mess. I hope everyone in Chicago is having an excellent time, but for me having heard some of the horror stories of previous years D-R-A-M-A I know I’ve made the right choice for me.
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August 12th, 2008 maggie
On Friday morning I’m off to the Femme2008 Conference in Chicago. Between presenting a panel, performing two pieces, I have a lot to worry about and a lot of clothes to pack! Since I haven’t flown in at least two years (since before the liquid bomb thing) I spent Saturday trying to fit three kinds of concealer and Goddess knows what else into a teeny tiny one quart bag and asking everyone I saw for advice.
Now that I understand the difference between solid and gel deodorant, I think I can fit everything in. So now I need to worry about clothes. I was trying not to worry about it because I’m afraid that if I spend extra time or effort on dressing for this conference I’m complicit in turning it into a competition. But of course I want to take care with my clothes for the same reasons I always do - to feel good about myself, because it’s fun, to be seen in the world (more or less) the way I want to be seen.
My roommate suggested that I should look at it more as an opportunity to be in an environment where people will see and appreciate my gender, and opportunity that I should take advantage of by having fun with my appearance. This positive spin is helping.
I also think about this when I’m getting dressed for MadFemmePride events. I love getting a chance to bust out a costume-y outfit, bolder or fancier that usual. But every once in a while I wonder if I’m still doing it for the right reasons. Am I doing it sometimes because people have come to expect it? Am I creating a public image of myself, and, if so, is it any more authentic than if I was butching it up in cargo shorts and sneakers? How do I determine which parts of my high standards are for me and which parts are for other people? To what extent am I ok with dressing for others? How do I navigate this with out turning it into a competition?
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August 5th, 2008 maggie
Seriously. I need to see this:
Blurred Lines, a dance work by Sofia Woods “invites you to consider the fluidity of gender, as the performer immerses herself in the iconic behaviours of queer subcultures and inhabits the skins of the high femme, the butch, the androgyne and the drag king - whilst physicalising the subtleties of all those in between. Using contemporary dance and static trapeze…”
I think this performance involves about 7 of my favorite things. Damn. It is so cool to know that there are other people out there exploring this stuff in unexpected mediums.
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August 4th, 2008 maggie
A late update on adventures at Queer Spirit Camp:
a blurry picture of the audience
Queer Camp is beautiful. Everyone was so nice. Most folks had been there almost a week, so they all knew each other, and as we got the tour and headed off to our room people were saying hi, asking about the show, and remarking on our outfits. We had a tasty dinner with lots of watermelon, then started getting ready for the show out on the warm up porch.
Adventures included: being more lost in Framingham, Mass than I ever thought possible, getting Rachel’s hair wet at the rest stop so she could do her pin curls in the car, lots of swimming and walking, sleeping in bunk beds (you know someone had to make a joke about tops and bottoms. I think it was Rachel.) Sassafras and I both got poison ivy. (no, we weren’t making out in the bushes). Read the rest of this entry »
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August 1st, 2008 Sassafras
It’s completely crazy for me to think that I’ve been home from the Queer Spirit Camp for a whole week! It was a really great weekend and everyone there was so sweet and wonderful, the show was great, my storytelling workshop occurred in the most beautiful location I’ve ever taught in, there was a pool, I actually had cell reception the list goes on and on! Also worth mentioning was that one of the men fell in love with my style and on Saturday right before I headed back to the city I was gifted with the most gorgeous 1950’s vintage apron that had belonged to another man’s mother!
It was truly an exceptional day- I then came back home where I was greeted at the train station by my partner holding beautiful flowers, and ze took me home where I discovered that ze had not only in my absence had scrubbed the apartment until It shone, AND made a trip to IKEA on the water taxi and returned (via car service) with a brand new bookcase for our bedroom, which ze had also magically managed to get put together! Did I mention that it was a really exciting weekend? Also exciting was that the experience of being up there with other femme show folks really worked to break down more layers of my own fears about femme community.
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July 25th, 2008 Sassafras
I hadn’t heard anything about the Femme Sharks until I happened to be reading my livejournal this morning and one of my friends had posted the Femme Shark Manifesto, and I just knew that I needed to share it with all of you. It’s very interesting to me, there are aspects of it that I don’t identify with at all, and others that make me say right on!!! I’m off to put the finishing touches on my packing for the Queer Spirit Camp, but I’m curious to see what all of you think about it!
p.s. at the bottom is all the details of how to get in contact with the Femme Sharks including copyright info 
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July 18th, 2008 Sassafras
A week from today I’ll be climbing aboard a big Amtrak train, leaving NYC and heading upstate for the Queer Spirit Camp. I’ll be leaving behind my beloved cell phone reception, and having to decide in advance what I’m going to wear for two days, and make sure that everything (including the crinolines) fit into my messenger bag, but I can honestly say that I’m starting to get extremely bouncy
I’m so excited to get to perform, and am equally excited about getting to lead two writing workshops for the folks attending camp! As I’m beginning to prepare to go one of the things that I keep thinking about is the utter explosion of femmeness that has taken place in the states in recent years, and how fantastic that is.
One of the things that really makes my journey to a queer femme identity was grappling with the fact that I didn’t see a queer femme community, nor did I even see femmes for a really long time, which just furthered the isolation that I was feeling as I began coming out and like so many people began adopting traits of androgyny because I thought that was how “real” dykes were supposed to act. And now? Goodness there is femme stuff everywhere! There is an ever-increasing number of books, the femme-coloring book, the femme conference, and last but certainly not least those of us here at the femme show making our way around the east coast this summer! I wonder what it must be like to come out with there being so much flamboyant queer femininity just being part of the fabric of community.
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