April 22nd, 2008 maggie
In this edition: The love child of James Dean and Bettie Page, describing and defining (or not). Â
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
I loved your comment, “femininity feels at some deep subconscious level dangerous, weak, and wrong.” And I think that is why I cannot escape an identity that somehow involves femme-ness. There is something about presenting in a femme way, which I call “girl drag” in my every day life, sometimes I also use the drag terms “en femme” and “en drab” to describe my presentation. I’m not sure that I want to say that that “wrong” is exciting, but I like that strange feeling, which I can only liken to walking down a dark alley. For me femme is never “safe” it involves skin and secrets and forethought and it is often about things that other people don’t see, like under garments or beauty rituals. Masculinity for me is more about the outside, I think because I feel more that I have to prove my masculinity than my femme-ness, because femme-ness on me would make sense to the world at large, far more sense than some cobbled together transmasculine identity. Read the rest of this entry »
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April 21st, 2008 maggie
Part 1, Part 2
In this installment: Why sometimes I want to cry, body image, being seen, the performativity question, “queering” femme as value judgment, stories from the gay marriage office. Â
Maggie to Mr. Kate
I totally agree that there is a lot of shared experience here. Gender became emotional to me when I figured out how performative my gender was, learning that getting up and getting dressed was always going to be some kind of drag. That is such a beautiful way to put it. Maybe the emotional connection to gender comes from making those choices, being connected to what you want or don’t want each day because each day you have to figure out what drag fits at that moment.
I explain away all these “feelings†by blaming them on what my mom would say is my over-sensitivity, or on the fact that I have to talk about my gender all the time because it’s my art and my (non-paying) job. But I think the real root of all this is that femininity feels at some deep subconscious level dangerous, weak, and wrong. And to answer your question, it is hard to talk about. When I started the show it wasn’t so hard, it was just a theme for a show - one that I cared a lot about and thought was important for our community, but it was still just a show. Now, it’s everything. Read the rest of this entry »
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April 17th, 2008 maggie
 (part 1 is here. 3 and 4 coming Monday and Tueday-ish)
Mr. Kate to Maggie
I agree with you that our identities are really different, but not in any black and white way, in every way that we could mark our genders as different I think we could find a shared similar experience. Gender became emotional to me when I figured out how performative my gender was, learning that getting up and getting dressed was always going to be some kind of drag. How I present and what I wear affects my moods and emotions.
I don’t think that everyone is as emotionally connected to their gender. People get up everyday and they get dressed and yes, maybe they try on three outfits but I think there are different thought patterns behind it. Read the rest of this entry »
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