A weekend with Queer youth.
Note from Maggie: In this entry, Lady Clara shares her thoughts from Common Threads. “All of us can feel happy, at times, in our lives, but joy, pure joy, the kind that gives you the energy to face the world, well, that emotion is rare and precious. These kids will remember this retreat as the time they experienced their first kiss, their first crush, learned about the rainbow flag, witnessed fierce femmes discuss their identities and made friends that finally *got* them. Powerful stuff.”
The Weekend of January 12th, a caravan, well actually a caravan of 1 car, left JP for an extreme adventure in educating our Queer youth. Alicia, Maggie, Rachel and I, 4 Femmes and Friends were off for a weekend retreat in Stony Point, NY for the Common Threads Youth Empowerment Retreat. This 3-day event organized by CANDLE (Community Awareness Network For A Drug-Free Life And Environment) focused on empowering GLBTQ youth, ages 14 to 17. This Femme Show Caravan was invited to give a few performance workshops as well as do a short show in the evening.
Prior to our departure, our Femme Captain, Maggie Crowley, had requested a PG rated piece from me for this retreat. I usually write smutty porn so this request proved to be a challenge. Nonetheless, I produced a very pure piece about my coming out and my sexual identity experience and felt confident about its PG content.
After a brief layover in Connecticut, we departed early on Saturday morning for the retreat. I had woken up with a very sore throat and postnasal drip and was trying to focus on the task ahead and not loose my mojo. The car ride was lovely and we finally reached our destination after a mere few hours on the road. We arrived at the retreat location just in time to check in and have lunch.
Our first workshop was right after lunch. About 16 kids and a few adult chaperons gathered in the space to participate in our creative process workshop. I read a piece about maternity, HIV and the Queer family – all very PG 13. In fact, all of us read personal pieces that discussed femme identity and queerness. The youth asked a lot of questions that related more to their life experiences than the creative process and Adam Lambert was discussed a bit too much for my taste… but it was our first connection with the kids and I felt we had established some credibility with them… something that can be very difficult with youth. The pieces were all incredibly touching, smart and sensitive and it was quite a treat to hear my fellow Femme Show Friends share their pieces.
After a brief respite in our dorm room, we offered a 2nd workshop, this one focused on developing a character. At least 30 youth and chaperons were in attendance and it made for quite a rowdy workshop. I was slowly loosing my voice (and my patience) and it was difficult to focus. Nonetheless, we were establishing a connection with the kids and I was aware that we were role models for these kids. That last thought gave me the energy I needed to finish the workshop with my peers.
Through this workshop, using props and writing techniques, the participants had to develop a character and ultimately a 3-minute skit. Some teams had very cute or comical skits; others I believe were based on traumatic familial experiences. For the most part, these kids really committed to their characters and invested a little part of themselves. Having done many, MANY workshops with Queer youth, I was rather impressed by their level of commitment and their sheer abandon in portraying their characters. It made me smile made me think and laugh.
Once the workshop was over, we headed over to the cafeteria for dinner and to regroup. I had lost 90% of my voice at that point, I had a tiny fever and I did not know how I would make it through the show. I had 2 pieces to do, one involved singing Madlibs to a Lady Gaga song and I was unsure how I would pull it off. We retreated to our rooms to rest and rehearse. I drank about 2 liters of hot tea to relax my throat and did not talk for those 2 hours. I got dressed, made myself pretty and headed to the show site.
In the green room, Maggie was warming up, Rachel was putting on makeup, Alicia was rehearsing her moves and I was sitting tight and pretty, waiting for the show to start, praying that my voice would keep. We had a full house of queer youth; adult chaperons and they were READY to be entertained. From the moment we stepped on stage, they fully absorbed our dancing, spoken word, paid close attention to the nuances of our words, laughed in all the right places and encouraged us enthusiastically. I felt confident playing out my PG piece and the kids just drank it up.
The greatest moment for me was during a spoken word piece Alicia performed. Alicia was in her full power and kids in the audience were so glad to see her up there, taking her space. Some kids had their eyes closed so they could absorb even better her words. Young girls smiled at her, young men leaned in, ears and hearts open. It moved me to tears quite honestly, I remember being 15 and queer and NEEDING a role model, someone with her own voice to put words to my confusing emotions about my sexuality. The show ended with a fabulous standing ovation, the kids screeching, laughing and crying. I felt like a rock star.
Some kids stayed behind and engaged us in conversations, offered confessions, hugs and encouraging words. After a show, I typically feel a rush of adrenaline, a surge of conflicting emotions about my performance. This time, it was different. I felt that our words, our movement, our energy had touched something in these kids, that somehow; their world would be a little different from now on.
This day at the retreat ended with a masquerade ball. Femmes and friends, we joined the Queer youth for some pizza, dancing and fun. Maggie and I were whisked to the dance floor for some dancing and singing. The kids were decked out in fun outfits and colorful costumes. At one point, we stood by the chips and dips, watching the kids dance to the Black Eyed Peas, laughing and seemingly experiencing sincere joy. It was actually a little bit overwhelming (in a good way) witnessing this joy. I felt so grateful that these queer kids had the privilege to attend this empowerment retreat.
As we left the ball, the joy that permeated the dance hall had rubbed off on me. All of us agreed that this retreat will no doubt be a pillar in the construction of these kids sexual identity and the beginning of clearly understanding their queer lives. All of us can feel happy, at times, in our lives, but joy, pure joy, the kind that gives you the energy to face the world, well, that emotion is rare and precious. These kids will remember this retreat as the time they experienced their first kiss, their first crush, learned about the rainbow flag, witnessed fierce femmes discuss their identities and made friends that finally *got* them. Powerful stuff.
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