can you see me now!?!
It’s funny to me that Maggie chose this week to write about invisibility, as it’s something I’ve been thinking a whole lot about recently. Two weeks ago my partner and I went upstate to a B&B for the weekend with the dog. It was the first vacation we’ve had in over 2 years, between moving cross-country, work, school, and art there just hasn’t been time for vacationing. We had an incredible time, but the funny thing was that we were passing as straight. That weekend the house happened to be populated by a straight couple who had been together 2 months (and were very awkward and who kept asking us relationship advice as we were the ‘old married folks’ coming up on nearly 5 years together) and a lesbian couple—who seemed very awkward about us.
Now, I feel the need to say that it’s entirely possible that they were just awkward people, and maybe it’s just my own issues with invisibility but it felt like something more to me. Even though I go through the world often passing as straight, and Kestryl and I nearly exclusively pass as a straight couple it’s not something that normally get to me…unless of course it’s queer people. I kept trying to get them to see me as queer! I’d drape my arm over the back of the couch taking care to position my black triangle tattoo within their line of sight; I was very obviously ready my new book Femmes of Power (which isn’t yet out in the states but is incredible—you can read my review of it here: ). I was practically doing queer gymnastics in order to be seen—–but no success.
In the end despite being invisible to the lesbians, it was an incredibly relaxing weekend, which was just what we needed. We spent lots of time walking around the property, reading, sitting by the fireplace, antiquing—which involved me coming home with a new vintage apron!

November 20th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Ha ha, I was thinking we should do more theme posts because I don’t seem to have a lot of ideas right now. Love “queer gymnastics!”
November 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Hi Sassafras, I completely relate! As it happens, I’ve been thinking about this issue too, although in the context of stereotyping and media representations. If you can bear to reading another post about LiLo, check it out:
http://sublimefemme.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/lindsay-lohan-and-femme-invisibility/
I’m also working on a post on femme as transgender, which incorporates a queer theory perspective on visibility/invisibility. Hope you’ll stop by!
xo Sf