need inpsiration - butch femme
I am writing a piece for the Society for the Preservation and Promotion of Sapphic Social Mores that’s full of one liners responding to the f-ed up things people say about femme id. We also want to include responses to the stuff people say about butch-femme relationships - things like “butch-femme is sexist/misogyist/anachronistic”.
How do you respond, especially when you really don’t want to “get into it” with someone? I think I natter on about personal choices and personal preferences.
September 13th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
This is a much longer reply than you asked for, but here it is:
http://sublimefemme.wordpress.com/2008/09/13/the-feminist-fairytale-about-butchfemme/
September 14th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
I don’t know how to answer it, honestly. But I’m interested in the whole idea, mostly because I am an anomaly. People will see me as a butch based on my clothes and hair, but my demeanor and sexual side is very much femme. It confuses me!
If I had to answer it, I think I might just say that if you think it’s socially acceptable to be gay, lesbian, etc. then it should be the same for the type of relationships that they have. People all take roles in relationships, even if they aren’t as clearly defined as butch/femme.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Hi Emily, Just wanted to send a little love your way. I’ve written a lot on my blog about how there truly is no right or wrong way to be a lesbian, and I wanted to convey that to you. Identities are much more fluid that many of us acknowledge–even in queer communities. I just saw a cheesy online quiz (Are you butch or femme?) and thought about how much time and energy we spend just trying to classify ourselves! (Me included.) My point to you is that maybe who you are is this unique mix of butch and femme, which is incredibly sexy. James Dean comes to mind!
Stop by and visit me sometime at Sublimefemme Unbound xo SF