Comments on: thoughts from a femme not in Chicago…. http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/2008/08/15/thoughts-from-a-femme-not-in-chicago/ Celebrating Femme Identity Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:39:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: hussy red http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/2008/08/15/thoughts-from-a-femme-not-in-chicago/comment-page-1/#comment-209 hussy red Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:51:02 +0000 http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/?p=217#comment-209 while i certainly don't want to make light of your experiences in regards to femmes beating up or competing with other femmes, i want to say that as a fellow fat, high femme the femme conference was a really warm, inclusive space for me this year. i haven't been to past conferences, but everyone seemed invested in a level of pride and respect that i've never felt elsewhere in all-queer spaces. in fact, in my experience, it was nearly routine for people to compliment one another on some aspect of their outfit or workshop or performance every time they spoke and on more than one occasion, merely walking down the hallway on the way out for the evening's events caused applause from femme on-lookers who hadn't yet prepared to leave or who were waiting for rides. this is not to say that the femme conference was absent of drama. i'm sure that was the case for some and i'm in no way trying to romanticize it or say that what you're describing as femme-on-femme hating did not go on. i didn't hear any personally, but i'd have to be naive to think we'd all shelve our cattiness completely for 72 hours! that all being said though, i hope they put the keynotes' transcripts or videos online and i hope you read/watch them, especially the ones by leah lakshmi piepzna-samarasinha and dorothy allison. they both really addressed the need for us to start being good to one another as femmes and reminded us of how much we need one another to rely on. while i certainly don’t want to make light of your experiences in regards to femmes beating up or competing with other femmes, i want to say that as a fellow fat, high femme the femme conference was a really warm, inclusive space for me this year. i haven’t been to past conferences, but everyone seemed invested in a level of pride and respect that i’ve never felt elsewhere in all-queer spaces. in fact, in my experience, it was nearly routine for people to compliment one another on some aspect of their outfit or workshop or performance every time they spoke and on more than one occasion, merely walking down the hallway on the way out for the evening’s events caused applause from femme on-lookers who hadn’t yet prepared to leave or who were waiting for rides.

this is not to say that the femme conference was absent of drama. i’m sure that was the case for some and i’m in no way trying to romanticize it or say that what you’re describing as femme-on-femme hating did not go on. i didn’t hear any personally, but i’d have to be naive to think we’d all shelve our cattiness completely for 72 hours!

that all being said though, i hope they put the keynotes’ transcripts or videos online and i hope you read/watch them, especially the ones by leah lakshmi piepzna-samarasinha and dorothy allison. they both really addressed the need for us to start being good to one another as femmes and reminded us of how much we need one another to rely on.

]]> By: maggie http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/2008/08/15/thoughts-from-a-femme-not-in-chicago/comment-page-1/#comment-205 maggie Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:55:22 +0000 http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/?p=217#comment-205 in my experience it seemed like people are cliqueish just because there's a large group of folks who are interconnected through the internet and other national conferences who are excited to see each other and want to spend time together. I am def. on the outside of that circle but it doesn't seem actively exclusionary to me. And there were lots of friendly folks who were traveling alone or in small groups who were eager to make friends. in my experience it seemed like people are cliqueish just because there’s a large group of folks who are interconnected through the internet and other national conferences who are excited to see each other and want to spend time together. I am def. on the outside of that circle but it doesn’t seem actively exclusionary to me. And there were lots of friendly folks who were traveling alone or in small groups who were eager to make friends.

]]> By: LaurynX http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/2008/08/15/thoughts-from-a-femme-not-in-chicago/comment-page-1/#comment-204 LaurynX Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:22:34 +0000 http://www.thefemmeshow.com/blog/?p=217#comment-204 That's interesting as when I thought about the Femme Conference, the first thing that came to mind was, "OOOO!!!! HUNDREDS?! of FEMMES...I WANNA GOOO!!" Alas, I'm in college with no money or transportation...maybe the next conference. I've witnessed competitiveness in each and every subgroup of people. Period. I know though, that it probably really cuts deep when this subgroup is "supposed" to have your back. I guess I don't let it phase me much as I am NOT a competitive person and generally do not stay around people who must put others down very long...I have zero tolerance for that behavior. Perhaps it's because I've never bonded with another Femme, don't have Femme community that I'm eager to go to a Femme Conference. I'd love to meet someone. That’s interesting as when I thought about the Femme Conference, the first thing that came to mind was, “OOOO!!!! HUNDREDS?! of FEMMES…I WANNA GOOO!!” Alas, I’m in college with no money or transportation…maybe the next conference. I’ve witnessed competitiveness in each and every subgroup of people. Period. I know though, that it probably really cuts deep when this subgroup is “supposed” to have your back. I guess I don’t let it phase me much as I am NOT a competitive person and generally do not stay around people who must put others down very long…I have zero tolerance for that behavior. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never bonded with another Femme, don’t have Femme community that I’m eager to go to a Femme Conference. I’d love to meet someone.

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