So I know I’ve written about femme community before, but it’s something that has come up for me again this week. Talking to one of my femme friends at work (can I just say how much I LOVE that I actually have multiple femme friends at my gay for pay job?!?!) she was talking about how she doesn’t always get along well with other femmes, and until me has pretty much not attempted to make friends with other femmes. This came up as we were discussing the Femme Conference. I completely understand where she is coming from, and honestly it’s only been in the last few months that my circle of femme friends has expanded dramatically.

It makes me sad to think that so often we stay away from one another, reliving some sort of catty high school drama where we see one another as competitors as apposed to potential friends. I know that even to this day, I sometimes have to check my own insecurities when I’m around other femmes, and I know that often times that has more to do with me and less to do with them. That said, I have watched a group of femmes rip someone else apart, and it’s that ruthlessness that has in the past scared me away from femme community.

I know this sort of infighting is not specific to femmes, and that other parts of the queer community do it just as regularly, but I think it’s time we plant our heels on this one and refuse to move any further. I value my femme friendships so much, and I’d like desperately to build more of them. As a community I think that we need to be looking out for each other and not perpetuating in destructive drama and infighting. Femmes are so misunderstood within the queer community, and we are often invisible to everyone else who better to understand what it means to walk through the world head held high as a femme, than someone whose heels walk a similar path?

This entry was posted on Friday, February 29th, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.